Talking to Teenagers: 2 Tips on How to Keep Communication Open

Raising a teenager can be a complicated and challenging task for parents. Your child, budding into a teenager, is starting to establish independence, form their own thoughts and opinions, and look to explore the world on their own and make decisions that feel most aligned with themselves.

Navigating this period of time can be full of unexpected twists and turns, and maintaining open and effective communication is crucial as your child transitions from childhood to adulthood.

How can you support them while allowing them space to explore independently? Here are two tips to help you communicate and connect authentically with your child.

1. Create a Safe Space

Part of being a supportive parent means creating a safe space for your child to express themselves authentically without fear of judgment, repercussions, disrespect, or abandonment. This is particularly important for teens as they are learning how they relate to the world around them. If they feel safe around you, they’ll be more likely to have open dialogue and be receptive to your opinions.

You can encourage this by:

• Being approachable:
  • Show that you’re available and willing to listen if they need to talk.

• Responding calmly:
  • Try to be calm and cool when they share, even if they are things that surprise or concern you. Avoid being critical, as this can turn your teen away. Instead, try to focus on providing constructive and supportive feedback.

• Validate their feelings & show empathy:
  • Your teen is going through a big transition. Try to understand things from their perspective. It can help to ask questions such as: “How does it make you feel?” or “What do you think is the right thing to do?”
  • Even if you don’t understand or agree with them, acknowledging how they feel can go a long way in helping them process their emotions and most importantly, feel safe, seen, and accepted.

 

2. Listen More, Talk Less

As their parent, you may think you know what’s best for your teen. This can lead you to dominate the conversation, which can make it harder for them to open up and feel heard, and can lead them to shut down. You can show your support by practicing active listening:

• Avoid interrupting them:
  • Your teen is forming their own thoughts and opinions. Let them finish their train of thought before you respond.

• Show interest:
  • Give your full attention to your teen when they’re talking to you. Try not to be distracted during that time, such as doing housework, making dinner, or being on your phone. Nod, maintain eye contact, and verbally affirm them.

• Reflect, repeat, and clarify:
  • Reflect and repeat what you’ve heard. If you think you’ve misunderstood, don’t be afraid to ask. This shows them that you’re really trying to understand what they’re communicating, which encourages them to open up even more.

Navigating how to communicate with your teenager is an evolving journey that requires patience, empathy, and adaptability. As a parent, you have the responsibility and ability to shape their formative years and help them build confidence, openness, and self-assurance. Remember, the goal is not to control your teen but to support and guide them into becoming secure and well-rounded adults.

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Looking for support? The Family Centre offers classes on Parenting Communication Skills,  Parenting Teens, and Discipline for Children and Youth.